Yesterday I was plotting out how much I was going to pay on my credit card (and tell the bank to kiss my behind) versus how much I was going to pay to the charitable organizations that are blasting me with e-mails and mail messages, hoping for that year-end tax deductible contribution.
I saw the caller id from South Carolina. My 100 year old grandmother is on "watch". Every time I see the area code I wonder if this is it.
Not this time.
"Your cousin is in jail and is in need of bail money to get him out" - said my aunt.
He had a warrant for his arrest for an unpaid traffic ticket of some type. "I told him that it is going to be hard trying to find someone with money during this time of year to bail you out. You may have to stay in jail over the holiday." ("Why did you decide to call ME instead of one of my siblings first?" I thought.)
As far as I know this is my cousin's first time in jail.
I did not register a protest.
I did not give any "conservative 'I told you so' " sermon.
I told her that I would put the money into Western Union tomorrow when the check I just deposited from my client clears. If I put it into my grandmother's bank account as she first suggested - he would likely have to stay in jail until Monday or Tuesday.
I see this as "repair money". Money spent to FIX what you already have rather than money spent to acquire something new. Yes you need to spend the money because you value the object in question but that doesn't take away the feeling that it is money that did not need to be spent had "preventative maintenance" had been made.
My cousin is in his early 20's. He did not graduate high school and has two kids.
I understand how it is to struggle. On my own "reverse migration" down to Atlanta I stayed for one month at my grandmother's house and left several boxes in her house as I stayed with a friend of mine in the ATL. I even borrowed money from another aunt to tide me over.
The difference between my cousin and I, however, is that I have "marketable skills" (a college degree as well - but this is less relevant than the skills). Rather than "having money" as they see in me - I have a means to develop multiple income streams as I provide needed "value added services" to companies that are willing to pay for them.
I understand that a "$30 bank balance" is distressing. One mistake and it will turn into "-$70" with two ill-timed transactions that the bank hits you with NSF fees.
My cousin took the risk of driving with an expired license and he got the worst type of "NSF Fee" - the one issued by the POLICE which now has him detained in jail.
The reason why I had my grandmother's bank account number is because I am the "son that lives in the South" and gets to visit this portion of my family more than my siblings in the North. In seeing that those of my family with direct care of my grandmother were also forced to spend their limited household funds for her utilities - I coordinated a plan with my siblings to take this burden off of their backs. They provide primary care for her and this is worth an untold among of money but can't be "capitalized" via an invoice for services rendered. Not one of my siblings protested having to take on these new expenses each month either. The issue was that there was not sufficient communication between my "country cousins" and my siblings - all of whom are also college educated with gainful employment.
My "country cousins" don't have the marketable skills necessary to transition from their direct financial dependence upon their parents. As life throws them challenges - a car with a blown engine, an unplanned pregnancy, a job loss or the end of a relationship with a love interest who they live with - their parents who are barely making it themselves are forced to shoulder the burn of the bird who has not left the nest completely.
"Let his behind stay in jail" did not enter my mind as the cure for my cousin. He has two children and a job that allows him to scrape by in supporting them.
Sadly, despite being in his early 20's there is little evidence from his actions that he will change course and pursue education or the acquisition of technical skills that will change the next 20 years of his life.
I asked my aunt if she had gotten her computer fixed OR used the laptop that my brother gave her (thinking about her young granddaughter) and she told me "No" (see - My Own Family Reunion - "She Don't Need The Internet")
I could not help but think about the Forbes Magazine blog article in which an outsider gave suggestions to "Poor Black Kids In West Philly" on how they must use computers to reverse the trends that are so unfavorable for the.
I AM a Black kid from West Philly. It was parental management of my academic career that made all of the difference. My parents bought me an Atari 400 computer. It was my personal interest and curiosity that compelled me to take open the case and upgrade it from 16Mb (I didn't say Gb) up to 64Mb of memory, becoming quite proud that I did not destroy the console with the soldering iron.
I don't have an answer for my cousin.
I will recommit to traveling back up to South Carolina and setting up the internet connection for my little second cousin who believed that the Google Street Maps image of my grandmother's house came from a camera that is across the street. I told her to go to the window and wave so I could see her on the computer. She showed aptitude enough to show her mother what I taught her. She needs some "distance learning" to harvest her conscious attention. I will work to forge a relationship between her and my kids who are computer savy from their benefit of my direct presence.
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